雅思写作-考官自写满分范文解析-找工作时工资高低是否是最重要标准?

为了帮助烤鸭们更快写出高分作文,墨尔本文波雅思继续带来雅思考官自写的9分范文详细解析。文章的论点结构和高分亮点一目了然,让你的写作学习更有针对性,提高更迅速!

 

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

构思思路:

典型的讨论后得出结论:不同意工资是最重要标准,其它因素也同样重要。主体第一段先让步说明工资的重要性,满足基本生活需求,第二段再列举其它因素的重要性,结构清晰明了,论证方式主要有举例,线性推理,假设和对比。

 

Many people choose their jobs based on the size of the salary offered. Personally, I disagree with the idea that money is the key consideration when deciding on a career(同义替换到位), because I believe that other factors are equally important(其它因素同样重要).

On the one hand, I agree that money is necessary in order for people to(in order to中间可以加for sb) meet (动词准确)their basic needs. For example, we all need money to pay for housing, food, bills, health care, and education. Most people consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If people chose their jobs based on enjoyment or other non-financial factors(词汇多样,准确,enjoyment尤其体现功力,比happiness更好), they might find it difficult to support themselves(虚拟语气,语法到位). Artists and musicians, for instance, are known for choosing a career path that they love, but that does not always provide them with enough money to live comfortably and raise a family(论证客观,举例丰富,逻辑通顺,动词搭配准确).

Nevertheless, I believe that other considerations are just as important as what we earn in our jobs(宾语从句替换salary). Firstly, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace(词汇搭配) are extremely important when choosing a job. Having a(动名词主语改变句式) good manager or friendly colleagues, for example, can make a huge difference to workers’ levels of happiness and general quality of life(注意levels of和general的使用,都是能添加修饰和展示词汇量的机会). Secondly, many people’s feelings of job satisfaction come from(切换feelings of job satisfaction作主语,come from作谓语,强调的因素放最后,展示语言结构多样性) their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach, rather than(无痕迹对比) the money they earn. Finally, some people choose a career because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society.

In conclusion, while salaries certainly affect people’s choice of profession(代替job和career的高分词), I do not believe that money outweighs all other motivators(从头到尾都有同义替换,否定+outweigh代替equally important和as important as ).

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