雅思写作高分范文及解析-教育类-不良少年问题

又到了学习写作高分范文的时间啦!继续看一篇教育类的9分范文,注意学习推理的方法和无痕迹表达逻辑关系。

 

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What are the causes of this? Suggest some solutions.

构思过程:

关于学生行为不当的问题,答题内容虽然分为原因和建议两部分,但需要逻辑关系层层推进,建议先用一长段线型推理由于现代生活物质丰富家长宠孩子,孩子任性缺少自控,继而引发不良行为,然后再分两段提出解决方法,由家庭上升到学校和社会。

 

第一段 Introduction 并且概括原因引出下文

Poor student behaviour seems to be an increasingly widespread problem (完美替换severe problems in many countries)and I think that modern lifestyles are probably responsible for this(完美替换题目中的causes).

 

第二段 解释causes

In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children.(第一层推理) These children are often spoilt(注意过去分词), not in terms of love and attention because working parents do not have time for this, but in more material ways(not in terms of…because…but in … ways完美解释spoilt,句式多样,第二层推理). They are allowed to have whatever they want, regardless of price(漂亮的插入语说明), and to behave as they please (用词地道). This means that (第三层推理)the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.(用without无痕迹引出推理关键点) When they get to school age they have not learnt any self-control or discipline. (进一步说明)They have less respect for their teachers and refuse to obey school rules in the way that their parents did (无痕迹举例+对比,动词搭配准确).

 

第三段 解决方法1(families)

Teachers continually (词汇多样)complain about this problem and measures should be taken to combat the situation (搭配准确、多样). But I think the solution to the problem lies with (地道)the families, who need to be more aware of the future consequences(高分词) of spoiling their children. If they could raise them to be considerate of others and to be social, responsible individuals(完美对应前文原因), the whole community would benefit (条件句+结果,切题).

 

第四段 解决方法2及总结(schools and the government)

Perhaps parenting classes are needed to help them to do this, and high quality nursery schools could be established that would support families more in terms of raising the next generation (被动句使用恰当). The government should fund this kind of parental support (词汇变化多样), because this is no longer a problem for individual families, but for society as a whole. (no longer…but for…as…结尾无痕迹概括家庭和社会)

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