雅思写作高分范文解析-人们因恐怖犯罪而害怕出门,你怎么看?

最近发生的恐怖袭击事件让很多民众感到害怕出门,这也是时下最为热门的话题,今天我们就来看一篇关于这个话题的雅思犯罪类大作文范文,学习一下如何正确客观地看待这一现象并提出你自己的观点。

 

Today, many people are afraid to leave their homes because of crime. Some people think that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others, however, believe that little can be done about this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

 

构思过程:

题目中观点分两面:一些人认为要采取更多举措,一些人认为没有什么办法,并且要求两面都得说,同时还要给出自己的意见,典型的Discussion + Opinion,可以把主体段增加为三段分别对应每部分(很多习惯写两段主体的同学可以考虑写一边倒驳论文,否定消极的看法,肯定积极的举措,最后在结尾强调观点);本篇范文由于并没有明显的驳论,两面平均用力,同时简化了开头并没有一开始就提出观点,而是在给出自己观点时另起一段,这样能给自己的观点更多论证增强说服力。

 

Many people today are concerned about the rising crime rate and even their own safety.

(同义替换到位)

 

Some people are pessimistic (悲观的,高分词)about this situation. They think that crime is so widespread and increasingly violent that little can be done to prevent it.(so that 句型改写题目观点,用词丰富) They also feel that the increasing income gap between rich and poor have made criminal activities common solutions to poverty. (提到贫富差距加大,进一步说明解释原因)Some of them may even argue that it is human nature to commit crimes so all efforts to prevent crime would be in vain (人性本恶的少数派观点,搭配准确).

 

Others, however(策略性插入语), believe that the situation can still be improved with preventive measures (用词到位)against crime. If there are better-trained and better-equipped police forces activity patrolling streets and neighbourhoods(非谓语到位), then criminals can be tracked down and arrested quickly. Security cameras installed in areas with high crime rates can also make offenders easier to catch so fewer people would commit crimes.

 

Compared with deterrent (威慑的,高分词)measures, changes to the media, schools and economy would be more effective as long-term solutions to crime (自己观点,根本上减少犯罪动机). Regulating violence on television, on the Internet and in video games can make people, especially young people, less likely to imitate media violence and commit crimes (动名词主语举例,提到媒体和教育). By providing free training courses to unemployed people and creating more job, the government can help poor people to improve their standard of living (by doing第二个举例,提到政府和经济). Society would become more equal and fair, which is crucial to reducing crimes (回减小贫富差距的方法,线性推理).

 

I personally think although the situation is very challenging, crime prevention is achievable through deterrent measures, media violence regulation and improvements in training and job opportunities for the poor.(一个although让步challenging,简单概括全文)

 

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