昨天给大家分享了一篇7分范文，今天，墨尔本文波雅思就这篇范文给出解析，让大家了解雅思写作是如何评分的，如何在写作中达到7分。
范文地址：http://wenbo.tv/ielts-writing-social/
Task Response
写作任务回应情况
The writer shows that he/she understands the question. A clear position is presented throughout the response.
考生表现出对题目的理解，并在整个写作过程中呈现了一个清晰的立场。
Coherence & Cohesion
连贯与衔接
Ideas are logically organised and there is a clear progression throughout the writing. The writer commences with a full introduction and brief position, going on to justify this position in two self-contained paragraphs with clear central topics before finishing with a clear conclusion.
观点组织很有逻辑，全文的行文发展都很清晰。考生以全面的介绍与简要的立场开篇，继而在两个独立的段落中对这一立场做出解释，中心思想明确，最后以清晰的结论结尾。
Substitution and referencing could be more sophisticated throughout.
替换和指代可以更精确。
- “would like the learn and improve …”
- “ … on the way to the adulthood …”
Lexical Resource
词汇丰富程度
Despite occasional errors in word choice, such as “when the children are at their ages” and “high coincidence”, there is a sufficient range of vocabulary for precision and flexibility, for instance:
虽然词语选择偶尔出现错误——例如“when the children are at their ages”“high coincidence”，但文中使用了丰富的词汇，词汇的使用准确而灵活，例如：
- “… negative relationship with the socio-economic situation of the family.”
- “… parenting style and individual’s own efforts …”
- “… positive attitude towards harsh realities …”
- “… child’s capacity building.”
- “… poverty-stricken family …”
Grammatical Range & Accuracy
语法多样性及准确性
There are a variety of complex structures. A few grammatical errors persist but these do not hinder understanding.
文中使用了多样的复杂句型。一些语法错误多次出现但并不影响理解。
- “… it is very vital and necessary for them to develop the positive attitude towards harsh realities as well as strategies to deal with problems under the proper guidance of parents.”
- “When the children encounter various problems, it is important for them to acquire appropriate knowledge and techniques to analyze the problems…”
Overall score: 7
总分：7
