雅思写作高分范文及解析-远程教育会导致实体教育消失?

有同学反映自己看雅思写作范文并不能深入了解范文的高分之处,今天墨尔本文波雅思为大家解析一篇A类教育类的大作文范文,希望对大家有所帮助。

 

Some people think distance learning has more benefits than schools so schools will disappear from our lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 

构思过程:

题目问远程教学是否能取代学校,审题后发现结论应该是不能取代,但要在Task Response拿到高分必须先承认和举出远程教学的好处,再强调学校教育的优势和重要性,两者优劣相较后得出结论,文章的逻辑结构才够完整。

 

第一段:Introduction

The boom(展示词汇多样性) of the student population over the past decade has prompted (“引发”,高分词汇)many educators to advocate(“支持”,高分词汇)distance education programs(learning的同义词替换).

 

第二段: 远程教育好处之一

The convenience and flexibility that distance learning offers would be apparent. (精妙的段首概括,强调了方便灵活的好处,offer和apparent用得到位)With widespread Internet access and cable TV connection(常见的条件状语提前), once an individual signs up for a distance learning course, he/she can study almost anytime, anywhere(第二句展开说明). The user can also adjust the pacing (高分词汇搭配,调整步调)of a course to his/her needs, such as when to complete the assignments or even when to submit the answers to test questions(第三句举例论证).

 

第三段:远程教育好处之二

Additionally,(注意段首连接词,引出第二个好处) distance learning is more cost-effective than conventional instruction as (用as无痕迹连接因果关系)the tuition rates are lower, the housing and meal plans are not an issue anymore and the travel expenses are next to nothing. (论证举例足够充分,同时在描述三个费用降低的例子时相同意思的表达方式足够多样)

 

第四段:学校教育重要的原因之一

On the other hand, innovative as distance-learning technology may be(精彩的提前让步状语,无痕迹表达转折关系), I do not think it can supersede(“取代”,高分词汇)classrooms altogether(address问题,无法完全取代). The fundamental reason for this is, I believe(插入语,句式多样), true education should not be confined (“限制”,高分词汇) to the delivery of information. It should involve the cultivation (词汇多样)of effective learning habits, the development of group discussion skills and the encouragement of collaboration名词复数和冠词运用准确,词汇丰富)as well, which I cannot find in online courses(一个非限制性定语从句无痕迹表达出对比,用词多样).

 

第五段:学校教育重要的原因之二

More importantly(连接递进), campus-based education(同义替换)tend to foster“培养”,高分词汇) a mentoring partnership between educators and learners while in reality(自然地引出转折对比), distance education rarely(否定词多样变化)helps to establish a mentoring relationship between the faculty members and the students (注意同义词替换), due to the long physical distance.

 

结尾段:总结论点

So my conclusion is that in spite of the inherent advantages that (转折连词+从句,总结二三段内容,inherent“内在的”,高分词汇)distance education holds in the transmission(同义词替换之前的delivery) of information, it should only be used as a supplementary tool(总结远程教育的作用,用词准确多样). It is by no means (否定形式多样)a complete substitute (fully address问题,用词准确多样) for traditional classrooms where teachers have first-hand experience with their students and build mentoring partnerships with them(从句完整概括三四段内容).

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